When is it time to stop pushing it?

I am a big fan of the little engine that could. Dori really had it down "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.." I probably look like a crazy person going down the path talking to myself. I have a few key phrases that I stick with:

Push it girl! Push it!
You got it!
Superstar!
Hard Core!
and when my body gets in my way of what I want to do I often tell it to F#@$ OFF!

I can usually tell how good of a skate session I'm having by the number of times I say this. Today I said this 5 times. It has been a very busy day for me and by the time our team meeting was over my ears were leaking brain cells. I had to fight the voice in my head saying "maybe you should take a break today." I silenced it with a swift "F%^$ OFF!" We began practice with the 25 in 5. That's 25 laps in 5 minutes. I completed all 25 with one quick water break and felt super righteous until they announced 20 more in the other direction. My whole body filled with lead telling me not to move and I snapped back quickly F*&# OFF! By the time practice was over and I had sworn at myself 3 more times and I felt more defeated than righteous.

When is it time to stop pushing it?

I am consistently paranoid that if I say "I'm taking a break today" I will be seen as a slacker who likes to make excuses. Unfortunately there are people like this. While I feel bad about it, I generally hold a loathing for those people because i believe they make my life harder. What I fear isn't seen is how much I wish I could do what everyone else can do. I try to complete each drill with only one break for water or to catch my breath but, damn this body, sometimes I just can't do it! On these days I ask myself "should I just pack it in and skate on my own? Is that what everyone else wants me to do? How can I possible prove myself?"

After giving up on our last drill I decided to put my skates on and jump in at the end. One girl gave me a high five and it made me smile. So today I will tell myself to "Push it girl! Push it!" and try again next practice.

Sincerely,
The Incredible FALK!